Every now and then the things I lean they lose they their meaning and I find myself careening,
into places where I should never let me go, no.
~ James Taylor, Something in the Way She Moves
So, in a few minutes I’ll be clicking the nice little blue “publish button” that is to the right on my computer screen. When I do that, there is a chance that I will have shared something that feels like a uber secret with, well more than the three people who I’ve mumbled to like usual.
Do you mumble? I do. Bad habit? Good habit? I don’t know. It depends I’m sure.
Do I care? No, not really a whole lot…it’s what I do, for better or worse.
The secret? If I tell you now then the suspense is gone – boo hoo on that, right?
Let’s start with what is no secret: I’m John Cooper’s wife and his is the new Vice President of Saint Ambrose University in Davenport Iowa.
We are now, as a family, part of the Ambrose community who pride themselves as the “fighting bees.” When I found out that the mascot and therefore much of the campus spirit wear and spirit PR was about bees, I was very excited.
My Godfather is very much into the spirituality of bees. (Note to self, catch up on that and give him a shout) He often reminds me that he has three angels watching over him: my mother, his mother, and a friend who died a few years ago named Bruce.
Bruce was a bee keeper.
Oh hell, Bruce didn’t keep secrets, so neither should I.
For the first few months after we moved to Davenport my overall feeling was that of being washed ashore.
Normal stuff considering that in six months time we: sold our house, packed and moved one fifth of our family two hours north of the Ohio River to the Great Miami River, packed and moved the other four fifths and remaining stuff, and moved eight hours east and two states away to the shores of the Mississippi.
Who is going to question or put down that image?
But, and here’s my little confession, not long after everyone was off to school and work in September, I started feeling like an animal trapped in the wild.
I mumbled this image to my husband and a friend. I mumbled it to my sister-in-law one night on the phone and she tried to figure out what I was talking about by saying:
I know just what you mean. When (yada yada) was going on, I so felt like a caged animal.
No! I interrupted, it’s not that, I tried to explain. “It” (whatever it is) is more like being a wild animal in the woods with her foot caught in a trap and she can’t figure out a way to stay or go.
Okay, now that’s a dark and dramatic image. As people ask how the transition is going, I’ve been saying “great overall.” God’s honest truth! It has, considering the five way upheaval of our family, been a shockingly smooth transition.
At the President’s Club schmansy dinner on Friday evening though, I had an experience of grace.
It was quite cool as a matter of fact.
It was enjoyable to meet new people, but I was nervous and uncomfortable with what I was wearing. I was also very tired from a good, but long week.
When a student group of singers started singing the Alma Mater I was excited because I so loved singing the one at my college as a student. I enjoyed the beginning words which were all about acorns and trees, but then I realized that that tune was one I loved.
Think, think, think my tired Pooh Bear brain suggested.
Oh. My. Goodness.
The tune was to that of “Be Still My Soul,” which is the song that I sang and sang and prayed with the months before, during and right after our move.
Big deal? Well, yes!
This pretty way of providence is exactly what the author was talking about in the book of Wisdom when writing:
Go me for being tuned in enough to hear that, in some, strange and mysterious way, my desire to fit in the crowd became a bigger deal than the fact that I was the only one wearing sparkly gold. (‘nother note to self – get black and lower the sparkle factor next year)
You know, I was the one, more than any person there, that heard that melody.
Then again, maybe the dear elderly man at our table who I didn’t get to chat with has hearing that is just fine. Hard to say.