Worried Wednesday: Looking for the Perfect Jerk

I would like to introduce my new best friend. I named my little birdie SweetCheeks.

My son was in my office a bit ago and asked me what was going on with my white board.Since we had been having intense conversation about how to get along with others and I’d just listed out consequences that he was going to face if the name calling doesn’t stop, I recon I was sort of busted.

I explained to him that I have this idea that I could illustrate the effects of both positive and negative self thinking by taking pictures of something very, very ugly that I would name “Jerk Face.” Silly me, I even tried to explain to a ten-year old my beef with Alec Baldwin, but stopped myself while I was behind. When I showed him SweetCheeks and said that I was going to also need photos of something really ugly-looking he offered up his wrestling toys.I decided to pass though. I’m not exactly how I’m going to play out this silly “Chronicle of Jerkface and SweetCheeks ” idea. Seeing as I’d like to get unstuck from Baldwin being some sort of devil on my shoulder, I do know I want them to not be gender specific or human.

Here are some snippets from an article that has me encouraged that this interest I have in learning to manage my tendency to be self-critical is attention well paid. According to educational psychologist Russell Bishop, the first step is to listen to what banter is going on in the old noggin.

In his Huffington Post article named Self-Talk vs. Soul Talk, are You Listening? he describes the character that I believe can be illustrated by my pal SweetCheeks:

The voice of wisdom seeks that which will truly sustain while the impatient voice seeks that which will fulfill some kind of temporary need. Of course, the louder voice never comes right out and tells you that it is going for something illusory or temporary.

The wiser but softer voice emanates from a deeper place in your consciousness, one that would have you strive for more meaningful inner experience over the more temporal and less fulfilling aspects of the everyday world. This deeper voice of wisdom speaks in terms that I call Soul-Talk.

On the other hand, this is how I imagine JerkFace’s mindset:

I’m sure you know the drill. You bust your butt to get that job, house, car, next promotion, or whatever it is that seems oh-so-attractive. Then just about the day you get it, the shine begins to fade, and you soon find yourself asking, “Why did I ever want that in the first place?”…The part of you that hopes fulfillment will be found in the next job, relationship, car or cool piece of technology comes from the less wise and louder part of you…Self-Talk provides the more shallow and ephemeral advice stemming from the set of conditions and beliefs that you have grown to accept as “the way it is.”…Self-Talk is often critical, a voice holding you back with admonitions of how things couldn’t possibly work out for you, one that suggests giving up before you even try.

My little sparrow pal was a 50 cent steal from the nearest consignment shop, so I am off to treat myself to a detour to a UsedStuff spot on the way to today’s Gouging #2 at Target.

Perhaps JerkFace will turn up right away. No worries. I’m not parting with my quarters until I find the perfect jerk.

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